Friday, 10 August 2012

5 books with WHAT ON EARTH titles

"Almost everything strange washes up near Miami."
― Rick Riordan

Wrong. Almost everything strange ends up on a bookshelf in a library near you. Book titles. We have them by the bucketload, and some of them are bound to have titles that raise your eyebrows. I randomly came across Crap dates : disastrous encounters from single life by Marsden, which is the image attached to this intro. I thought it would be funny. It seemed like it would be funny. While some of the experiences are, just as many are sad and (even if you don't squint) an outright declaration of sexual kinks on the first date. (Some within the first few minutes, actually). It did make me wonder what other kind of strange titles we have and, a few weird, deliberate searches later, I had THIS LIST: 5 books with WHAT ON EARTH titles!

What strange/wonderful titles have you come across on our shelves?

Shit London : snapshots of a city on the edge / Patrick Dalton
London--England's capital of culture, finance, fashion and forward thinking. A city where the ancient meets the modern, the chic and, let's be honest, the shit. Despite the best efforts to smarten up the city before the 2012 Olympics, local pockets of immeasurable crumminess still abound in neighbourhoods and boroughs. Hidden behind the architectural delights, history and bright lights exists a world that proves London is a world class provider of bad taste and all-round awfulness. Shit London explores the world of ill-conceived community art, poorly named shops, cheeky graffiti, bad translations, comical signs and the unintentionally funny scenes that surround Londoners everyday. Revel in the rubbish that surrounds them all.

I grew up in a rough part of Takanini, so I felt a weird kind of kinship with some of these images. I thought quite a few were clever, some arty, and some outright ridiculous. The title should, of course, tip you off to the fact that there are sweary words.

Porn for new moms / from the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative ; photographs by Susan Anderson
Hot on the heels of last year's runaway success, Porn for Women , the female pornographers from Cambridge are now tackling the fantasies of new mothers. What really turns them on? The CWPC locked themselves in the lab for months to find out. And the results are in this scientifically proven, steamy photo collection of hunky guys doing exactly what new mothers want. Prepare to enter a fantasy world, a world where men insist on changing diapers, where guys get up for 3 a.m. feedings, and where they just can't help but admire mom's sexy all-sweatpants wardrobe. Page after page of titillating shots and dream-worthy captions will make every mother swoon. In fact, it might just leave her begging for more. . . . Oh, daddy!

Warning: this book will make you giggle loudly enough that your bus co-passengers will give you shifty-eyed looks and move away. That is my life story. There isn't any porn in this book, by the way.

Care to make love in that gross little space between cars? : a Believer book of advice / with Dave Eggers, Zack Galifianakis, Amy Sedaris, & many more ; introductions by Judd Apatow and Patton Oswalt ; edited by Mike Sacks and Eric Spitznagel
In the spirit of "You're a Horrible Person, But I Like You, Care to Make Love in That Gross Little Space Between Cars?" is a series of twisted, belligerent advice columns from "The Believer" and an all-star cast of writers and comedians, including Bob Saget, Louis C.K., Amy Sedaris, and Nick Hornby.

Fifty shades of pleasure : a bedside companion : sex secrets that hurt so good / Marisa Bennett
Surrender to Your Desire for Naughty Bedroom Pleasures... If hot erotic romance novels have had you fantasising about certain naughty pleasures, or if you just want to add a little spice to your sexy love sessions, this kinky how-to will bring your fantasies to life. Explore the pleasure of a little pain, flex muscles you didn’t know you had through hot sex positions, and learn how to make or break the rules in your playtime romp. With a light, playful tone, this book eases you into the stingingly sweet side of sex. Each section features excerpts from the Kama Sutra or classic erotica, extra tips like “Dirty Talk Dos and Dont’s,” and offers further resources to continue your naughty education. Gather your ben wa balls and feather ticklers while this handbook gives you the rundown on all the hot moves you've been wanting to try, from beginner bondage techniques and starter spanking to hot wax and flogging—no dungeon required!

You're not going to believe me BUT I did not request this book. Helpful friends/colleagues send through titles they think I might be able to use in a blog post or eNewsletter. Often, I never know who they are, so I'm not always able to thank them except by using what they give me. So: random colleague - this is your THANK YOU note! I think. Because this book? Yowsers. Fifty shades of blushing. I almost felt guilty for flipping through it during worktime. For the more visual among you, you're out of luck: there are no pictures.

5 people who died during sex : and 100 other terribly tasteless lists / Karl Shaw
All in perfectly bad taste. Prepare to be amazed, appalled, disgusted, and hugely entertained by this compendium of indelicate oddities. Nothing is too inane, too insane, too bizarre, or too distasteful for this incredible, seemingly impossible, but absolutely true collection of facts from across the ages and around the world.

Another book that arrived on my desk. This time followed by an email from a friend with 'Did it arrive?' in the subject line.

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